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Filipino Video Games Part 1


Imagine Asyong Salonga, The Video Game!!! Actually, there's no need for that since it would prove to be major sh*+. I have been thinking for a few nights already a few what ifs, like, what would this movie turn out to be if it was converted into a video game or pc game. Take a peek inside my head (a VERY lonely head) and have a few laughs or tears… By the way, these are all based on ASIAN (specifically Filipino) movies.


The Filipino counterpart of Hercules, this man could part mountains (and get crushed in the end) part the sea (and drown in the end) and beat up people and get away with it.

Platform: Nintendo Entertainment System (or any other pirated counterpart that plays 8-bit cartridges).

Why: Because this game is so crappy that only the sick hobbyists will do it.

How it will play:

You start out of course as Bernardo Carpio in one of the little villages. At first, everything seems normal, everyone in their G-string attire (including you), kids playing around, women washing…themselves and stuff. After a while of exploring, you will encounter a woman about to get raped by a bunch of un-hygenic. Your attacks will range from overhead punches, a few barbarian kicks, grappling moves, and of course, a few hardcore style weapon weilding attacks. The damage system will be so simple. One hit from you and your enemies are dead. A few hundred hits from your enemies, you still don't feel pain. You're Bernardo Carpio. You're Invincible.


This movie features the man turned woman trying to run for presidency. Along the way, he encounters hilarious situations in which the solution always seems to be funny also.

Platform: PlayStation 2

Why: This machine will support all the chaotic action at once…

How It Will Play:

The intro will show you how you became Barbie, the woman outside, man inside hero/heroine of the game. It will be an adventure game, and will take full usage of the analog sticks on the PS2 controller. In some scenes, you will need to flirt with a guard who does not want to let you in. If you flirt with him good enough, the guard will stand up, and you will then be able to sneak inside. You will meet familiar faces in the game. Former President Ferdinand Marcos will make a cameo appearance in one of the Malacanang backgrounds as a ghost. While playing, you can earn money by getting hired. You can be a nanny, a cook, or whatever. Upon finishing the game, you can then use your hard earned money to find a surgeon and have a sex change, or use your money to campaign for presidency.


This film tells us the story of underaged kids being forced to dive the deep seas to find pearls and treasure.

Platform: Dreamcast

Why: This machine easily supports 4 player action.

How It Will Play:

There will always be four players helping each other out, trying to escape the giant ship. You and your friends will play the roles of four kids who just started to rebel against the evil Boss. Fortunately, you have with you a collection of pearls that you have "borrowed" from your Boss. You can use the pearls to bribe guards or people to have things done your way. The damage system will be based on hunger, and the air that you have available in your body, especially for the diving sequences. You die if you run out of oxygen, or just die out of hunger. You can also die if people started to hurt your more physically. In the final level, you can burn the ship. If you escape, you get to grow up and become a Boss of your own, or start out as a politician. If you don't escape, you and your friends become friend kids.

To be continued...

Some Video Games made into Movies:

  1. Super Mario Bros. (1987)
  2. Mortal Kombat (1995, 1998)
  3. Street Fighter (1995)
  4. Wing Commander (1999)
  5. Pokemon (1998, 2000)

Current Movie Projects:

  1. Final Fantasy: The Spirit Within (June 2001)
  2. Pokemon (June 2001)
  3. Tomb Raider (June 15, 2001)
  4. Resident Evil (???)
  5. Dungeons and Dragons (???)

Filipino Video Games Part 1 Reviewed by Jepoy on 12/28/2000 07:21:00 PM Rating: 5

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