Nihonsei: Lotteria's Tower Cheeseburger

This article is not related to anime or J-Pop songs with not-so-hidden sexual messages, but Nihonsei does literally mean “Made in Japan”, so I thought, hey! Maybe I can write about food in Japan?

So anyway, it may not be well-known all over the world, but Lotteria is a Japanese fast-food burger chain. There’s one near my place (and by near I mean 30 minutes away on foot). Just like many other fast-food chains do over here, Lotteria very frequently (about every month) offers new, limited-time only menu items; obviously to keep people interested and coming back to the store.

Well this month, Lotteria has come up with a monstrosity. Say hello to my little friend:


This is the Tower Cheeseburger (トワーチーズバーガー). And it is not a joke. Lotteria is actually selling this, and people like me buy it. Basically, it’s ten burger patties and ten slices of cheese (and two slices of pickles, and ketchup, to be exact) in between two buns.

The burger costs 990 Yen, or around 445 Pesos. That might seem expensive, but a typical burger at a fast-food restaurant here costs around 350 Yen (a Big Mac meal costs a little over 600 Yen), so this is actually reasonably priced for Japanese standards. You can modify the burger by decreasing the number of patties. Each patty costs 100 Yen.

This is how it looks when it is served.


And this is how it actually looks (sorry for the crappy shot).


Of course, it’s never as good as how it looks on the display. But they could have at least piled those patties a bit more neatly, right? I tried straightening the patties up, but it was impossible. I was just going to have to eat it in this state.

Eating it was very, very messy. There was no way you could hold on to it without getting your hands all greasy because you have to actually grab on to the patties themselves if you want to keep the burger intact. I felt like a caveman chomping down slabs of greasy meat with my bare hands.

And the taste? Well, it’s not a gourmet burger, but it was pretty delicious. It’s like a "guilty pleasure" kind of delicious, the kind that makes you feel dirty and disgusted with yourself afterwards. It was good, but I don’t think I’ll be eating it again.

The Tower Cheeseburger was probably one of the greasiest things I’ve ever eaten in my entire life. It’s about as greasy, maybe even greasier, than my failed attempt at home-cooked tempura that just turned into food coated in brownish oil sponges. A website I found had weighed the burger, and it came up to about 579 grams. That’s half a kilo of meat and grease. Definitely not something anyone should eating at a regular basis. In fact, I highly recommend to the management of Lotteria that these things be served with a waiver clearing the restaurant of all responsibilities from any ill effects that the burger may cause to your health, like heart disease, diabetes, death, and stuff like that.