Retro Gaming Nights: Holy Week Gaming with Bible Adventures for the NES
Are you looking for a way to connect with God this Holy Week? Look no further than Bible Adventures, the game that's so bad, even Jesus won't touch it. But hey, who needs divine approval when you can have a mediocre platformer with questionable theological value?
Developed by the folks at Color Dreams (who later changed their name to Wisdom Tree), Bible Adventures is an unlicensed Nintendo game that features three stories from the Bible that will supposedly teach you about religion: Noah's Ark, Baby Moses, and David and Goliath. But, let's be real, if you want to connect with a higher power and achieve salvation, you're better off reading the actual Bible.
Gameplay-wise, it's basically an inferior Super Mario 2 with Bible characters, but with none of the charm or fun. The graphics are passable, but nothing to write home about, and the sound is forgettable at best. And don't even get me started on the fact that Wisdom Tree deviated from the actual Bible stories just to make the game more exciting.
But hey, at least you get to carry a sheep over your head and hit lions with it. I mean, who needs compelling gameplay when you have that kind of excitement?
The graphics and sound are nothing special, with barely any sound in the game at all. It's just another generic NES game that's been given a religious spin.
In all seriousness, though, if you're looking to connect with God and learn more about your faith, maybe skip the game and pick up a Bible instead. Bible Adventures may have some scriptures thrown in, but it's not going to deepen your understanding of the Bible or your relationship with God.
(Bible Adventures Review by the Angry Video Game Nerd in 2006)
Overall, Bible Adventures gets a 2 out of 10 from me. It's not the worst game ever made, but it's certainly not a masterpiece either. If you're looking for a fun game to play this Holy Week, look elsewhere. But, hey, if you're really desperate for something to do this Holy Week, give Bible Adventures a shot. Who knows, maybe it'll earn you a ticket to heaven.
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